Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
