whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize