So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
