The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I smell stomach acid.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
