maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
