...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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