sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
