After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize