Don't make out with my wife yet
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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