I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's blow job season.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
