I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
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