Got a toothbrush?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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