I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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