If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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