Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
