how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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