Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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