I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
