I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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