It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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