He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
as a side note pls kill me
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
