i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
