guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
