Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
