I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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