i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So vagazzling was a success
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
