I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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