By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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