You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
