im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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