my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dicks are not precious.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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