Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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