the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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