I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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