I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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