You just made me feel so damn special
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
