let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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