I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
