You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
