Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
