I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
