does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize