wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
