I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
