I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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