Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
