and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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