Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
