I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
