I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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