Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
