it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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