hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
