The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize