The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize