God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
