got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
